Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Corn Quakes

Suddenly, oddly misplaced creatures are popping up everywhere, and it seems our Sainsbury's and Tesco's bags are to become the temporary vivariums de nos jours. Our slinky friend from a couple of days ago twiddled around a bunch of celery induced one of the classic media interviews of our time.

I heard a similar story unfolding today, and I held my breath for another surreal listening experience. Once again a snake story, and once again the spawn of Ophidian in stowaway mode has stolen the 'we're all in need of a little light relief news' section. And good old Five Live were there to report it again, and again it fell to Peter Allen to deliver the story. And how thankful they must have all been that this snake was found in a box of Golden Puffs. It always helps the 'on air' fun if an absurd pairing can be imagined to depict a humorous ludicrous contrast, a reptile most of us are predetermined to go hysterical at the sight of, and a sunny, jolly box of kiddy-cereal.

No live interview was risked this time - no furrowed brow and glazed eyes today from this homeward-bound driver. News themed text messages were encouraged however and I was unable to stop my car and turn off the engine before ' if he was a poisonous snake he could be called a cereal killer' was declared the wittiest of the day.

Tomorrow we're back to the old standby involving disgustingly shed or purposley donated parts of the human body dropped into ice-cream tubs or slopped and sealed into baked beans tins. The revenge of the bored and underpaid food-packers. To-day it's all about snakes. Snakes a long way from home.

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