Sunday, October 30, 2005

Anglia Nights Part 2.

And as young teenagers we depended on these unreliable chariots to trundle safely around town. Those of us who walked to the trendy pubs ran the risk of unwelcome encounters with the local *chavs on the way.

These street hanging scruffs took exception to the decade's dandified style we observed: the feather cut mulletty hair-doos, the frilly shirts so tight,(this was the era of the pleat and double dart after all) we were made to look like ornate pipe cleaners, and trousers, with waistbands so high we could have been mistaken for Spanish waiters, the trouser bottoms, flared so expansively, once only circus clowns would have got away with them.

Making an effort made us into fair game. Even our average height, artificially enhanced by our posh shoes with heels that made us look like towering stilt walkers, didn't help. Tottering on heels of such elevation we all believed we were six inches taller than our dads. But the roughs were never conned.

Looking cute and whiffing of Brut, or Old Spice nicked from our dwarfy, flat-soled fathers, and dragging on miniature Number 10 weeds, weedily, we would pile into these old motors and seek out the towns entertainments. And hope that the driver cherished his license enough to avoid drinking too much alcohol, or that we wouldn't break down on the way home.

* Chav. I love this definition by Michael Quinion. And I rather like the words 'skanger' and 'scuffhead' as well.

PS. The golden statue that used to appear on Anglia Television is an Anglia Knight. I felt the need to share that because I gave myself a world class migraine attack trying to think of a title to that last post.

Was the driver old enough to have a license?
By a whisker. Or a bum-fluff. We were good boys. Bought cars at 16, parked them outside the house and cleaned, fettled, and sat, yes SAT in them, until our 17th birthdays. Then it was on for a few lessons, breeze the test, tag the insurance on to your dad's (approx £10 a year or something equally stupid) and...happy days.
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