Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Fame Game

Those obsessed with statistics, meaningless or otherwise would be wise to read on. Courtesy of a blog entry in which I shamelessly name dropped Shhh... Ioan Gruffudd, I have been bombarded with stats-saturating hits from his hope-filled global fan base. The link, posted by a contributor on one of those weird message forums at Ioan online has been clicked in such volumes only the truly popular could understand.

Admittedly these forum message people would have had to speed-read, jump-ignore growl-grrr-huff their way to satisfaction: da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Anglia Niiights...the... Warrrrrriors, scroll-roll, roll, roll: "shit; shit, shit-shit; shit!" "Aha!!" "Eureka!" "Ioan" "Mmmmmmmmmmm!! "Iuan!" "Mmmmmmmm!" You really do have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince.

My Australian visitors stats are positively roof-bound, Canadian temp-friend numbers, stratospheric. I'm being quoted, referenced, and surely, soon to be feted. Read with the kind of adoration normally reserved for the likes of Ioan. I know the man who (sort of) met the man of my dreams scenario. Even the dusty old Grasmere has been linked in a kind of: "ohhh if only we knew to be there, right there, right then." Even the dear old Black Velvet debate has been deconstructed - it seems that Black Velvet in Canada is a whiskey rather than a beery, apply concoction. But who cares: " I'd be happy to discuss this with Ioan," even though Ioan did not proffer his opinion on this dubious amalgam right there, right then.

Update: As hits go, these are pretty worthless, numbers can indeed flatter to deceive.

And groan. It couldn't last. Name dropping does indeed have its price. I should have known not to criticise the response of the groupie. Messages from these forum obsessives are now taking an altogether more darker turn, and yours truly ain't coming out of it quite so well now. Not to worry, my spies have told me when our hero's next in the area and, in a surprising coincidence, I'll be there too, so I'll be able to update him.

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