Sunday, November 06, 2005

Feeling Yucky

I shall be amongst the Moonrakers in deepest Wiltshire for part of next week as I have a three day skills development course which, if I'm honest, I'm dreading.

It's going to be one of those courses that force you into situations that you would avoid at all costs if you had any choice. I have no choice. It's one of those tick in boxes type courses that you have to do if you're to continue to be at the top of your game. I'm not at the top of my game with or without it at the moment as I feel absolutely awful.

My head feels hot and aches. I feel weak and tentative. My brain feels as if it has been extracted from my head while I slept last night and tenderised into a grey pizza by a ghoulish insomniac. Isn't it typical of the mind and body to show fragilities at a time when it's going to be next to impossible to ride with them comfortably.

At work it would be head down, quietly, getting on with it. No global fires started, no wit of the week awards. Just coping with feeling like shit until it passes.

Next week there is no hiding place. Chucking a sicky isn't really an option - unless tomorrow I feel like I really am at death's seductive door.

So it's dosed to the smarting eyeballs for me tonight, and a forlorn hope that I feel a little better when I wake up. If I do.

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