Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Waxing Lyrical

Women love candles. This is a dangerous opening sentence that will probably enliven my search request hits alarmingly. My Ioan Online nightmare which continues to haunt me, at least taught me one thing: hit stats can be feared as well as endeared. But women do love to light candles. The bobbing glow and subtle light of a burning wick, dipped in paraffin wax seems to provide for them a romantic glow to what would otherwise be rather clinically lit settings : the bathroom, the kitchen, the lounge.

Pillar candles, taper candles, little flattened tea lites, novelty candles, hurricane candles, votive, block and scented candles. Holy Lantern Candles, slowly floating candles and rare Venezuelan beaver fat and whale oil candles. All chosen, arranged, and fired up to add a warm suffused glow to what would otherwise be starkly lit settings and let in instead, ambience, decoration and fragrance.

Lovely. Kill those infernal electric lights. Extinguish that harsh illumination. Nights in should be romantic. Candles should be used whenever possible. I couldn't agree more. But you do have to keep an eye on them. They can bite.

Little did I know during a Christmas night's canoodling watching one little flame dancing cheekily, sending up the odd thin trail of smoke before settling down to the business of gentle illumination what dastarldy deeds were happening behind the scenes.

How could I know then that a trickle of hot wax was coursing its ruinous way down towards the rear of my PC forming a crystallized puddle of hot wax on some of its most critical and expensive parts. But disaster has been averted. And the great clean up has been a success. But a scare nonetheless. Perhaps I'll ban candles from my house.

Trouble is, women do seem to love candles.

Well... you're not wrong. As a girl, I love 'em. However, ever since I set fire to the top of my bookshelf, I've been cautious. Get candleholders. Little flat metal plates with a spike in the middle could be suitably macho (women love Yankee Candles and Colonial Candles as they come self-contained in glass jars and never drip, but that's a bit too chickie for a guy.) In a pinch, hit a used stuff store and buy up some saucers - they tend to have awesome saucers in used stuff stores - and stick your candles on them. No drippy, still pretty.

I got a kick out of your entry, Like your sense of humor. Enjoyed your blog. :)
Oops! Though it serves you right for indulging in canoodling. Candles will, I'm sure, continue to be placed elegantly around your abode, although perhaps a replacement holder must be bought sooner rather than later.
I also enjoy lighting candles. None of that weirdsy dripping wax on my skin stuff. Except maybe on the print part of my finger, to make a wax fingerprint--how retarded is that?? And not for romantic reasons either. Candles are kind of mystical, hypnotic and peaceful.
I am getting veeeerrrrry sleeeepy....
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