Monday, February 13, 2006

News Update.

On hearing the news that Michael Carroll aka The Lottery Lout has just been sent to prison for nine months for causing an affray, I can't resist but to republish this piece I submitted back in June of last year. It was titled: 'What's The Recipe Today Jerry? which on reflection makes me wince a bit. It's funny how good ideas at the time often turn out to be less than inspired when you revist them, but the thinking behind the title was, I think, sound enough. "What's the recipe to day Jim?" spoken in Pinky and Perky-like tones, was the prelude to the Jimmy Young Show daily recipe. Jeremy Vine of course, took over the Jimmy Young show, though the daily recipe was unceremoniously dropped along with octogenarian JY and his brand of prog.

I think the writing was on the wall for Carroll and I guess he never received those hugs he believed would have cured him of his yobbery.

(June 2005) Jeremy Vine carried out an interview on his Radio 2 programme today with the self-styled 'King of the Chavs Lottery winner and serial lout Michael Carroll. For those who don't know, Carroll is an ex dustman yob who, at19 years of age, in an obscenity of justice two years ago, won nearly £10 million on the National Lottery . When he picked up his cheque wearing an electronic tag attached to his leg you could almost hear the collective despairing groan of a disbelieving nation as this boyo gurned at the nation's press photographers whilst holding a cheque with this mind- boggling sum of money displayed on it - all of it going to him, to this nightmarish example of an undeserving cause.

Part of Carroll's celebrations was to burn a 40 foot mobile home in his new front garden in rural Norfolk, whilst setting off industrial strength fireworks. There was a boat and a couple of cars lined up to stoke the fire up a bit should things die down too quickly, though the neighbours pre-empted this by summoning a battalion of firemen to dampen down things a bit, treating Caroll's bonfire as a fire as out of control as he was proving to be. The same neighbours who must have thought that Carroll had brought Hell as well as Hades with him into the Norfolk countryside where, once ensconced in his large home with grounds a plenty, proceeded to have all night alcoholic binges and banger racing parties in his garden, with at times as many as 80 cars formed up for the drive and wreck treatment.

A mini crane had been purchased for the purpose of shifting the wrecked hulks from one part of the garden to another to allow unimpeded, noisy, smoke inducing, dust cloud creating, racing with a new regiment of sacrificial vehicles.How the neighbours hearts must have sank to see this metal crushing procession in waiting. Not so much the calm before the storm, more the nepalm which brings the end of norm. How their lives had changed thanks to the lottery. From polite garden parties, hedge topiary, good natured braggery over the quality of the herbacious borders and gentle clapping during the family's annual croquet competition, to this dystopian, devilish fairground of Hell on earth. Satan's circus is in town - and it ain't moving on.

Not content with making his unfortunate neighbours lives a misery, his next stunt was to travel around the town and share a little of the mayhem about, toting a catapault from which he fired ball-bearings at shop windows and other cars. He got into trouble with the police for that one and it was for that he received his ASBO. He now says it will change him. And today he has chosen the Jeremy Vine show to let people know that he's turning from this dark side, and become a law abiding citizen.

On the JV prog. A little current affairs, a range of music, (well the Radio 2 playlist), and the current debate - nature v nurture in terms of personality development. This was brought about by the Narcissitic Personality Disorder murder issue and it stays with JV throughout the Carroll interview.The arrangement was for Carroll and his manager to assemble at the BBC Norwich Studio and explain how this corner was going to be turned. It was never going to be an easy interview for Jerry. His natural journalistic instincts were always going to prompt him into an investigative interview rather than something more cozy about where Carroll might go from here. He was always going to adopt a challenging attitude over his actions since winning the money.

Carroll predictably did not have a good voice for radio.Vine began by introducing Carroll who grunted something like 'ello' - even though one word, it was quite indistinct.

Vine: "You've been awarded an ASBO, is that why you've decided to change?"

Carroll: After a hiatus that must have seen much BBC tumbleweed rolling through the empty radio space probably made out of the hairlines of Jeremy's and his producer's hair-lines. "Yeah!"

Vine: "And the ASBO was awarded to you because you fired ball-bearings from your car."

Carroll: (Into comfortable territory) "Fucking prank wannit. Stoopid."

The "stoopid" referred to the prank I think, not Jeremy. It hardly mattered who the 'fucking' was aimed at, the whole of Radio Two's lunchtime audience would have heard it, that's all that mattered. Jeremy, slightly stunned, let it pass against a background hissy shout in his ear from a heavily sweating tumbleweed producing Producer: *move on quickly.*

Vine: (loosening his tie) "Why do you behave so bad?"

Carroll: "Provoke."

Vine: "What do you mean?"

Carroll: "Sly remarks and shit!"

Vine: (To the accompaniment of more: in-his-ear-but-audible-to-us-hissing.) "Because the £9.7 million must have changed you and perhaps changed the people around you?"

Carroll: "Yeah. Changed me. Yeah! Trust!" (Sniff)

Vine: "And you feel you haven't been treated well by those around you."

Carroll: "Not too good."

Vine: "And that has affected your behaviour but you're cleaning yourself up now?"

Carroll:"Fucking right."

Vine: (now with thoughts of P45s winging their way towards him before he can acquire a Colt 45 to place against his foot. Or his head) " I must remind you that this is a family show and to kindly watch your language"(or words to that effect.) Christ! he must have thought, one day Kissinger, next day ...

Carroll: "F..... yeah. Right."

Vine: "You were treated badly as a child." ( the old nature versus nurture debate still rippling through his head.)

Carroll: "Just a wee bit."

Vine: "You didn't get on with your wive's partners."

Carroll: ( Wondering how many wives he's had and perhaps rationalising that he probably wouldn't get on all that well with their partners) "Pardon?"

Vine: (bugger me I'm getting as bad as him)"Your mothers partners were cruel to you."

Carroll: "Just a wee bit."

Which took the interview roughly down the route he was (unconsciously) heading for I suppose. And as the interview developed I did begin to feel some sympathy for Carroll. There can be little doubt that he had a shocking upbringing, and even agreed to Vine's suggestion that all he really needed was a 'hug' from someone genuine and he'd be fine. Difficult to imagine I know but ...We shall have to wait and see.

ITt makes you sick doesn't it? someone like him,no good to man nor beast, winning all that money. I don't normally begrude anyone anything,but when it comes to people like him who have made other peoples lives hell,my sympathy runs out!
We all work hard and do long hours/overtime,and what for, a pittance.I'm not proud to feel the way I do but there are times in this mad,mad world I wonder what it is all about?
Why don't the Deities of the Dollar allow me to win a lottery? I'm a pretty mellow person. I would sell my 72 foot mobile home, move out to the country, hire a housekeeper so I would no longer have to do the domestic crap I'm so bad at, and if I got drunk I'd do it in my own house and not bother anybody.
There is no justice, I tell ya!
Found out the other day that an old school friend of my better half is (or was) this thug's erstwhile father-in-law. It's not something he brags about.
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